Deciblog vs Universal och The Mars Volta

You Got Pwned

They’re telling us that CD sales are down, the record industry is dying and major labels are scrambling to find new ways to distribute content and make a buck. That’s a tall order, and in the case of Universal’s plans for the new Mars Volta record The Bedlam in Goliath, the product of countless hours and dollars and endless exchanges between the Publicity Departments and outside consulting firms basically sucks moose cock:

The Mars Volta: The Video Game You Don’t Care About

Hey, let’s hire a company to develop a text-based game based on the concepts of The Bedlam in Goliath, but make it so impossible to play that you’ll lose interest after approximately three minutes. Then host it exclusively on Amazon to stoke interest in the record’s release, but plan to remove it exactly one week after the record is released. Apparently, a couple of die-hards have put together a FAQ/walk-through, but I hung with this long enough to realize that Cedric Bixler-Zavala would not be appearing in the game with his “One-Armed Scissor” power move a la Emogame. Say what you will about the goofy Blood Mountain video game (aka Super Mario Bros. level 1-1 with one of the trolls from Golden Axe) that Warner Bros put together for Mastodon, but at least it wasn’t oozing with pretention.

The Mars Volta: The Deluxe Edition You Don’t Care About

Hey, if we put the record on a USB key and include some bonus content, people will pay twice as much for it, riiiight? The current Amazon product listing for the deluxe edition of The Bedlam in Goliath promises “monthly content updates through 2008.” Like b-sides and live videos. Aka the reason you go to YouTube every day. Or — get this — “exclusive wallpaper.” Translation: Free napkins with every Wendy’s purchase! Every major label will flog this same USB memory stick concept in 2008, but the demographic who might be attracted to the idea already has less painful and wasteful forms of content delivery. Nevermind the fact that the better choice for a Deluxe Edition for a prog band with delusions of grandeur is vinyl. With a gatefold cover. So you can unfold it, gaze at the pretty Hipgnosis-style art and, you know, roll your joints on top of it.

The Mars Volta: The Record You Don’t Care About

Using The Mars Volta as a guinea pig for a new media experiment is potentially disastrous, too — I remember asking Cedric Bixler-Zavala circa De-Loused in the Comatorium to unpack the record’s concept a little bit and his response was “Read through the liner notes and then go to our website and call me back and tell me what you think.” I don’t mind doing homework when the product justifies my attention, but seriously, why is UMI giving these guys such a long leash to confuse and obfuscate with their proven track record of being unable to release anything but middling concept records? Give me one more perfect song like “The Widow” and my faith will be restored. You probably thought it couldn’t get any worse after Amputechture, right? Oh my.

Idolator svarar:

Do The Mars Volta Have Naked Pictures Of Doug Morris?

Decibel gives Universal a good bloglashing over the company’s ridonkulously out-of-touch promo push for the upcoming album by neo-progsters the Mars Volta, from the silly Zork-esque online adventure game to the “special edition” USB stick, a format already regarded by many as the new “enhanced CD,” ‘cept even more superfluous thanks to the device you’re reading this on. But the biggest question, Decibel sez, is why Universal is flushing all this promotional fundage down a toilet shaped like Neil Peart in such cash-strapped times for the majors.

Using The Mars Volta as a guinea pig for a new media experiment is potentially disastrous, too…seriously, why is UMI giving these guys such a long leash to confuse and obfuscate with their proven track record of being unable to release anything but middling concept records? Give me one more perfect song like “The Widow” and my faith will be restored. You probably thought it couldn’t get any worse after Amputechture, right? Oh my.

Maybe I’m just a sucker for crazy drum rolls and falsetto ululations, but I don’t find The Bedlam In Goliath as objectionable as the Decibel braintrust does. (In fact, I think it’s the MV’s best, least wankiest offering since De-Loused.) And I also do not share their worry that Universal’s investment will be necessarily be unrecoupable. Unlike some of their labelmates, the Mars Volta’s pop profile may still have them playing theaters, but they’re selling out enough of those medium-sized venues that I was pwned myself when I tried to see them in Philly earlier this week. Relying on a cult act with committed fanbase in the tens or hundreds of thousands (hell, I don’t even like leaving the house for cigarettes this time of year) is actually pretty sound strategy for a label of any size these days, even if said label still can’t resist trying to fleece that fanbase with valueless add-ons. If Bedlam does tank, however, the quickest fix is clear: A T-Pain remix. The obviousness of which is perhaps the only explanation for why UMG overlooked it in the first place.